Computer Says No!

 

Do you want to know what really ticks me off? I mean what REALLY TICKS ME OFF?.....Of course you do or you wouldn't be reading this page would you?

 

It's those accusations and stupid messages my computer sends me, and then offers no intelligence, but  ridicules mine:

 

Error: Keyboard not found press F1 to continue.

Your mouse is not working, click here when not working.

Cannot delete jpg_067 there is not enough disk space. Delete one or more files to free disk space, and then try again.

You need to supply a fax number in order for your request not to receive fax notifications.

Error 0000: No errors found  restarting computer.

My favourite one was simply -  Printer on fire !!!

It's the accusations i really hate.

You have committed a fatal error, windows is shutting down.

Yes ok but what have i done? I have been known to resort to physical violence:  pounding the keyboard, punching the screen but when the pesky thing refuses to switch off i take  enormous pleasure in yanking the plug from the wall..."take that you piece of *?#T!!"

I know the recriminations will start as soon i switch it back on again BUT I DON'T CARE!